I had an email yesterday.
It was from Glassdoor – a large job search and workplace review website here in the UK.
I haven’t been actively seeking employment so was genuinely intrigued.
“You look like a good fit for the job. Apply now” read the subject line, optimistically.
Looking forward to being offered the role of “chief taster” at the tea factory or “head story writer” at WWE, I opened the email in quiet anticipation.
But, I was audibly disappointed.
Out of all the jobs available in the world, the one hand-picked just for me was:
Lift greeter.
Apparently, I’d be perfect to greet customers as they were entering and exiting a shopping centre lift.
During the stupidly busy festive period.
Where, I’d also have to cheerfully tell an over-stressed parent, laden with armfuls of shopping and burdened by irritable, screaming children that there are too many people occupying said lift and they’ll have to wait 10 minutes for it to finally return to the floor again.
All of this for minimum wage too.
Merry Effin’ Christmas.
Nothing wrong with being a lift greeter, of course.
I’d take the job in a heartbeat if it meant the difference between keeping a roof over our heads or not…
And on the Big Day itself, put a rather disappointing turkey dinner on the table.
Pass the cranberry sauce!
I like to think of it as “the system” trying to put me in my place…
Reminding me, that at 40-years-old, I have nothing to offer the upper-end of the employment scale.
Joke’s on them.
I’ve known this since I was in my teens.
When I made my first £1 on the internet at 18 I decided the regular 9-5 life wasn’t for me.
It doesn’t have to be for you, either.
You can follow the same system I use now to build a strong personal brand, attract endless leads without spending any money on ads and make regular sales while going about your daily life.
Like when you’re out shopping.
Queueing for the lift.